A Montana artist takes on the retirement project of launching a podcast, but not for the reason you might think. It focuses on a reality that a growing number of grandparents are facing–becoming primary caregivers for their children.
YPR’s Orlinda Worthington reports on support for grandparents and others who are parenting the second time around.
“My husband and I were retired. We were spending time traveling and visiting family and we got a call that two of our seven grandchildren were in trouble.”
Laura Brazan and her husband live in the small community of Olney in Flathead County. They are 67 years old and are parenting their grandchildren ages five and eight.
“So not only was I out of the loop when it came to coping with young children. But I had no idea, really, what we were getting ourselves into,” Brazen said.
The couple is not alone. The Montana Department of Health and Human Services says 55 percent of children in foster care are living with a relative. They do not track children outside foster care who are living with grandparents, aunt and uncles, siblings and non-blood relatives, referred to as kinship families. While those numbers are not available, talk with most anyone who works with children and they’ll tell you it’s a growing issue in Montana.
“It seems like each year there's more of a prevalence of families who are in crisis.”
Amy Wiggs is a counselor at Central Heights Elementary in Billings, which has fewer than 300 students.
“I don't have a percentage, but I would say there is a good handful of students who just have alternative living circumstances. You know, that might be due to divorced parents. That might be due to having lost a parent. All different types of living situations,” Wiggs said.
Wiggs says often the toughest part for the kids is the confusion.
“Sometimes behaviors do show up, but most of the time it's just them trying to figure out how to kind of gain control in their little world.”
Brazan said that element of change for the children was something it took her a while to understand,” Wiggs said.
“Even though the environment that they came out of was awful, it was their home. It was what was familiar to them, and this is all unfamiliar,” Brazen said.
Wiggs advises the kinship families to seek out support and connect with others in the same situation. Laura Brazan found that support through the Kinship Navigator Program which provides resources to help caregivers find counseling, medical services and more. Peyton Feining runs the program for Montana.
“On average per year, the program is in contact with between 200 and 300 caregivers at any given time,” Feining said.
Brazen says the Kinship Navigator Program is the most helpful she’s found. But she felt support groups were lacking. There were none in Montana. That prompted her to start a group and the podcast “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.” Episodes include conversations on the top challenges Brazan faced. Number one - financial concerns.
“Not only did our lives change but our plans completely changed and we're using some of our retirement money to take care of our grandchildren,” Brazen said.
Brazan learned that if children have been in foster care first there is a stipend for support. But not for those who take in children of their own accord unless their income is below poverty level.
Peyton Vining says finding financial help is definitely the biggest need she sees for the families she serves through the Kinship Navigator.
“They’re parenting a second time around, you know, where things cost a lot more,” Vining said.
Along with extra financial costs, the emotional toll on those parenting - and the children - is often more than expected.
“One of the things I did not realize would be challenging was that not only are we taking care of two traumatized children, but we’re coping with the fact that there’s trauma going on in our children’s lives. We have our grandchildren because either their parents have gone through incarceration or are going through mental illness or addiction,” Brazan said.
A third issue common among grandparents parenting…
“We’re socially isolated because of it. Our friends really don't want to spend time around little kids again,” Brazen said.
And then, there’s age. Laura and her husband will be in their 80s by the time their grandchildren turn 18. That offers another worry for older caregivers - living until the children are grown, and the quality of life they can provide.”
“And now I tell the children, you know, Grandma and Grandpa can't carry you on their backs, on their hands and knees on the floor. And then you have to explain to them why,” Brazen said.
Like many other kinship caregivers, Brazen chose to give up her career as an accomplished artist to help raise the grandchildren. It was a crushing decision at first. But time has given her peace that it was the right decision.
“I can't think of anything better than it for it to say on my gravestone instead of, yes, she was a famous artist, but say she saved the two lives of two young children. I think it's the most important work we can do and we have to,” Brazen said.
In Billings, I’m Orlinda Worthington.
The Kinship Navigator program is run through Montana State University Extension. Find more information here: https://www.montana.edu/extension/mtknp/
